Motherhood, the job where we act like we know what we’re doing but in all reality we’re just winging it.
Confessions from a first time mom
I constantly worry about my baby.
“Is she breathing? Is she eating enough? Is she too hot? Is she too cold? Does she have a fever?” These are just a few of the things that run through my head on an hourly basis.
Google is my bestie.
Some of my most recently searched terms include: How do I make my baby sleep? At what age can I start sleep training? How do you put a baby down drowsy but awake? Why won’t my baby sleep? How much coffee can I drink while breastfeeding?
I’ve had Mom Guilt.
I let her cry for 30 minutes while I had my first meal of the day at lunchtime. I’ve let her cry so that I can go pee. Am I a bad mother because sometimes I just have to take care of myself?
I compare myself to other Moms.
I see Mothers on Instagram that had a baby a week ago and have a full face of makeup, somehow finding time to post and work while their baby sleeps like a perfect angel for hours.
Meanwhile, I can’t get my child to sleep without 40 minutes of bouncing, a swaddle and a pacifier in her mouth. And if I’m lucky I can set her down without waking her up – giving myself about 5 minutes to pee and grab a glass of water until she squirms herself awake again.
Please, Instagram Moms. SHARE YOUR SECRET.
I’ve been angry at my spouse.
Pretty much everyday since I went into labour, to be honest.
First it was anger because he didn’t have to push a small human out of his body, then it was anger because he didn’t have to wake up every 2 hours to feed the baby… and now it’s anger because I believe his work is a break from the baby.
Anything I can be angry at my spouse about, I am. Sorry Hon.
I’ve been angry at my baby.
Why won’t you sleep? Why do I have to teach you? Why are small humans literally the most useless creatures? Why couldn’t I have birthed a puppy? They have no problem falling asleep.
But then I look at her innocent sleeping face and her smiles when she wakes up and I remember why it’s all worth it. Hopefully.
I would do anything for my baby.
Sure, I greatly dislike her when it’s 2am and there’s no sign of getting her to sleep anytime soon. But at the end of the day I would do absolutely anything for my child – she is now the sole reason I live and breathe.
Spit up is my new Eau de Parfum.
At this point, is there really any reason to change into a clean shirt? It’s just going to get covered in spit up in 10 minutes anyway.
And most of all…
I have no frigging clue what I’m doing.
I’ve never been a Mother before, I don’t know anything about tiny humans. How do you teach them to be big humans? Surely there must be a manual somewhere.
The most important thing is she’s still alive and seems to be happy, I guess in the end that’s all that matters.